A duck and a baker walk into a bar. The duck wants bread, the baker wants to sell bread, and the bar is trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.
Now, the bar could certainly benefit from this – hire the duck, make it the mascot, and profits shoot up, and a bakery certainly wouldn’t hurt either.
But the duck doesn’t care about any of that, it just wants bread and resorts to stealing bread from the baker and harassing the customers because it’s a duck, not a salesfowl, it never learned this from duck school, it learned from experience that bread = food and food = f o o d and fuck being civil, it’s hungry.
Meanwhile the bar is questioning its life choices while some asshole duck makes the bar its personal restaurant and toilet and even overstays its welcome, and the baker is trying to fistfight said asshole duck to protect the bread, but the duck is winning because wings are superior.
Some people would feel sorry for the duck: It doesn’t know societal rules, it doesn’t know economics, it doesn’t know sanitation, and it certainly doesn’t know much other than bread, so why punish it? In fact, feed it even more. It should frequent this place.
Other people cheer for the duck: This bird gives no fucks, what a statement of rebellion against this rat race of stockpiling resources in absurdly sophisticated structures meant to control the unfortunate. Never mind that it’s a bird, it’s a smart one, clearly, on the level of humans.
The bird just wants some fucking bread and it doesn’t care what y’all think of it, stop letting it have bread in the bar and stop acting like it’s human unless it’s a Quaxly and it learns how to use human language after it evolves a couple times.
Let’s focus on the bread’s perspective. This bread is clearly very much in a state of bread. It’s probably fresh, it’s probably full of crumbs, it’s probably got yeast unless it’s Passover, and it’s probably edible. How’s it feel about being eaten?
Well, it feels like bread. Can’t care less or more, because it’s bread, and bread is simply bread when it comes to matters of bread.
Reminds me I left my lunch leftovers in the work freezer. Eh, it was just one chicken wing, I’ll make a sandwich or something if I’m hungry tonight.
…Suppose bread wasn’t bread. Could be a novel idea. Guess that’ll be its own post if I find the point.
This blog cost me $50 to make, will cost about the same yearly, and will take effort to write sometimes, so how about donating to my Cashapp at $Hogoki so I can make better content and worry less about financial troubles?